My Secret Rainbow

如何在一天内彻底改变你的人生

How to fix your entire life in 1 day

If you’re anything like me, you think new years resolutions are stupid.

Because most people go about changing their lives in the completely wrong way. They create these resolutions because everyone else does – we create a superficial meaning out of status games – but they don’t meet the requirements for true change, which goes a lot deeper than convincing yourself you’re going to be more disciplined or productive this year.

If you’re one of these people, I’m not here to talk down on you (I tend to be a bit harsh in my writing). I’ve quit 10x more goals than I’ve achieved. I think that should be the case for most people. But the fact that people try to change their lives and utterly fail almost every time holds true.

However, as much as I think new years resolutions are stupid, it’s always wise to reflect on the life you hate so you can launch yourself toward something that much better, as we will discuss.

So whether you want to start the business, transform your body, or take the risk toward a more meaningful life without quitting after 2 weeks, I want to share 7 ideas you probably haven’t heard before on behavior change, psychology, and productivity so you can do just that in 2026.

This will be comprehensive.

This isn’t one of those letters that you read through and forget about.

This is something you will want to bookmark, take notes on, and set aside time to think about.

The protocol at the end (to dig deep into your psyche and uncover what you truly want in life) will take about a full day to complete, with effects that last far longer than that.

Let’s begin.

 

如果你和我一样，肯定觉得新年决心很傻。

因为大多数人改变生活的方式完全错了。他们制定这些决心只是因为别人都在做——我们从地位游戏中创造出虚假的意义——但这些决心根本达不到真正改变的要求。真正的改变远比说服自己今年要更自律、更高效要深刻得多。

若你正是其中一员，我并非在此贬低你（我的文字确实常带尖锐）。我放弃的目标数量远超实现的十倍，这本该是多数人的常态。但人们试图改变生活却屡屡失败的事实依然成立。

尽管我认为新年决心很愚蠢，但反思自己厌恶的生活状态始终是明智之举——这能助你迈向更美好的未来，我们稍后将探讨这个话题。

无论你想创业、塑形，还是冒险追求更有意义的人生而不两周就放弃，我将分享七个关于行为改变、心理学和效率提升的全新思路，助你在2026年实现目标。

本文内容全面深入。

这不是那种读完就忘的信件。

你需要收藏它、做笔记、并留出时间反复思考。

文末的心理探索方案（用于深挖内心、发掘人生真正渴望）需耗时整整一天完成，但其效果将持续远超这个时间。

现在，让我们开始。

 

I – You aren’t where you want to be because you aren’t the person who would be there

When it comes to setting big goals, people tend to focus on one of the two requirements for success:

1. Changing your actions to make progress toward the goal (least important, second order)
2. Changing who you are so that your behavior naturally follows (most important, first order)

Most people set a surface-level goal, hype themselves up to remain disciplined for the first few weeks, then go back to their old ways without much struggle, because they were trying to build a great life on a rotting foundation.

If this doesn’t make sense, let’s run through an example.

Think of somebody successful. It can be a bodybuilder with a great physique, a founder/CEO worth hundreds of millions, or a charismatic dude who can chat up a group without a shred of anxiety entering his mind.

Do you think the bodybuilder has to “grind” to eat healthy? Does the CEO have to discipline themselves to show up and lead the team? To you, it may seem like that on the surface, but the truth is that they can’t see themselves living any other way. The bodybuilder has to grind to eat unhealthily. The CEO has to force themself to lie in bed past their alarm clock, and they hate every second of it (there is nuance here, just entertain me for a second).

To some people, my own lifestyle seems a bit extreme and disciplined. To me, it’s natural, and I don’t say that to contrast it with any other kind of lifestyle. I simply enjoy living this way. When my mom tells me that I should take a break, go out, and have some fun… I hold my tongue from telling her, “If I weren’t having fun, why would I be doing what I’m doing?”

This next sentence may sound simple, but it is baffling how many people don’t get it.

If you want a specific outcome in life, you must have the lifestyle that creates that outcome long before you reach it.

If someone says they want to lose 30 pounds, I often don’t believe them. Not because I don’t think they are capable, but because there are too many times when that same person says, “I can’t wait until I’m done losing weight so I can start to enjoy life again.” I hate to break it to you, but if you don’t adopt the lifestyle that led to you losing the weight, for life, and find a reason with a higher gravitational pull than the one tying you to your previous ways, then you will go straight back to where you started, and you can unhappily say that you wasted the resource you will never get back: time.

When you truly change yourself, all of your habits that don’t move the needle toward your goal become disgusting, because you have a deep and profound awareness of what kind of life those actions compound into. You are okay with your current standards because you are not fully aware of what they are or what they lead to. We will discuss how to uncover this, but we need to build up to that.

You say you want to change. You say you want to “become financially free” and “get healthy,” but your actions show otherwise for a reason. And it goes a lot deeper than you think.

 

1、你未能抵达理想之地，只因你并非那个该在彼处的人

谈及设定宏伟目标时，人们往往只关注成功所需的两大要素之一：

• 改变行为以推进目标（次要因素，次级）
• 改变自我使行为自然跟随（首要因素，一级）

多数人设定肤浅的目标，靠自我激励维持几周纪律后，便毫不费力地故态复萌——因为他们试图在腐朽的根基上建造宏伟人生。

若仍不明白，且看实例：

想象一位成功人士——可能是拥有完美体魄的健美运动员、身价数亿的创始人/CEO，或是能毫无焦虑地与人群畅谈的魅力人物。

你认为健美运动员需要“刻苦”才能保持健康饮食吗？CEO是否需要强迫自己准时到岗领导团队？表面看来或许如此，但真相是他们根本无法想象其他生活方式。健美运动员必须刻苦才能吃下不健康的食物。CEO必须强迫自己赖床到闹钟响过头，而他们恨透了每一秒（这里存在微妙差异，请容我稍作阐述）。

在某些人眼中，我的生活方式显得极端而刻板。对我而言，这不过是自然状态——并非刻意与其他生活方式对立，我只是享受这种生活。当母亲劝我放松休息、外出寻欢作乐时…我强忍着没说出那句：“若非乐在其中，我何必坚持这些？”

接下来这句话看似简单，却令人费解的是竟有那么多人不明白。

若想在人生中获得特定成果，你必须在抵达目标之前，就过上能创造该成果的生活方式。

当有人说想减掉30磅时，我常常不信。不是因为怀疑他们的能力，而是因为太多时候，同一个人会说：“等我减肥成功就能重新享受生活了。” 恕我直言，若你不终生践行当初减重的生活方式，若找不到比旧习更强大的吸引力来支撑改变，终将重蹈覆辙。届时你只能哀叹：浪费了永不可复得的时间资源。

当你真正改变自我时，所有无法推动目标的习惯都会变得令人厌恶——因为你深刻意识到这些行为终将堆砌成怎样的人生。你之所以安于现状，正是因为尚未完全认清现状的本质及其后果。我们后续会探讨如何揭开真相，但需要循序渐进。

你说你想改变。你说你想“实现财务自由”和“保持健康”，但你的行为却背道而驰——这背后存在深层原因，远比你想象的更复杂。

 

II – You aren’t where you want to be because you don’t want to be there

Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement. – Alfred Adler

If you want to change who you are, you must understand how the mind works so that you can start to reprogram it.

The first step to understanding the mind is to understand that all behavior is goal-oriented. It’s teleological. When you think about it, this is kinda obvious, but when we dig into it, most people don’t want to hear it.

You take a step forward because you want to reach a certain location.

You scratch your nose because you want to make the itch go away.

Those ones are clear, but most of the time, your goals are unconscious. You may not realize that when you sit on the couch in the middle of the day, you are trying to burn time before your next responsibility, as one simple example.

On an even more unconscious and complex level, you pursue goals that can harm you, but you justify your actions in a way that is socially acceptable and doesn’t make you seem like a loser.

As an example, if you can’t stop procrastinating your work, you may justify it with the fact that you “lack discipline,” but in reality, you are attempting to achieve a goal like you always are. In this case, that goal could be to protect yourself from the judgment that comes from finishing and sharing your work.

If you say you want to quit your dead-end job, but stay in it without any real reason, you may start to think you don’t have enough courage, or that you were never really a “risk taker,” but the truth is that you are pursuing the goal of safety, predictability, and an excuse to not look like a failure to everyone else in your life who sees working a dead-end job as a sign of success.

The lesson here is that real change requires changing your goals.

I don’t mean setting some surface-level goal because the act of doing that serves an unconscious goal that is actually harming you. That’s been ran through enough in the productivity space. I mean changing your point of view. Because that’s what a goal is. A goal is a projection into the future that acts as a lens of perception which allows you to notice information, ideas, and resources that aid in you achieving that goal.

Now let’s dig a bit deeper, because if you don’t understand this, it only becomes more difficult to get out.

I send out letters like these 1-2x a week. If you don’t want to miss them, join here. You can also read my book free, other letters, etc.

 

2、你未达所愿之地，只因你本不愿至此

唯行动可信。生命发生于事件层面，而非言语层面。相信行动。——阿尔弗雷德·阿德勒

若欲改变自我，必须理解心灵运作机制，方能重塑其程序。

理解思维的第一步是认识到：所有行为皆以目标为导向。这是目的论的体现。细想之下，这道理显而易见，但深入探究时，多数人却不愿听闻。

你迈出步伐，只因渴望抵达某处。

你挠鼻尖，只为驱散痒感。

这些例子很明确，但多数时候你的目标是潜意识的。举个简单的例子：当你大白天坐在沙发上时，可能没意识到自己是在为下一个责任消磨时间。

在更潜意识且复杂的层面，你可能追求有害自身的目标，却用符合社会规范的方式为自己辩解，避免显得像个失败者。

例如，当你无法停止拖延工作时，或许会用“缺乏自律”来开脱，但本质上你仍在追求某种目标——比如逃避完成并分享作品后可能面临的评判。

若你声称想辞去死胡同工作，却毫无实质理由地继续留任，你可能会开始认为自己缺乏勇气，或是天生不是“冒险家”。但真相是你追求的是安全感、可预测性，以及不被身边那些视死胡同工作为成功标志的人视为失败者的借口。

真正的改变需要重塑目标。

我并非指设定表面目标——这种行为本身正服务于潜意识中损害你的目标。这类观点在效率领域已被反复探讨。我指的是转变你的视角。因为目标本质就是视角。目标是投射向未来的认知透镜，它让你注意到有助于达成目标的信息、理念和资源。

现在让我们深入探讨，若未能理解此理，摆脱困境只会愈发艰难。

我每周发送1-2封此类信函。若不想错过，请在此处订阅。您还可免费阅读我的著作、往期信函等内容。

 

III – You aren’t where you want to be because you’re afraid to be there

The important thing for you to remember is that it does not matter in the least how you got the idea or where it came from. You may never have met a professional hypnotist. You may never have been formally hypnotized. But if you have accepted an idea – from yourself, your teachers, your parents, friends, advertisements, from any other source – and further, if you are firmly convinced that idea is true, it has the same power over you as the hypnotist’s words have over the hypnotized subject. – Maxwell Maltz

Here’s how you’ve become who you are today, and how you will become who you will be tomorrow. This is the anatomy of identity:

1. You want to achieve a goal
2. You perceive reality through the lens of that goal
3. You only notice “important” information and ideas that allows you to achieve that goal (learning)
4. You act toward that goal and receive feedback that you are progressing toward it
5. You repeat that behavior until it becomes automatic and unconscious (conditioning)
6. That behavior becomes a part of who you think you are (”I am the type of person who…”)
7. You defend your identity to maintain psychological consistency
8. Your identity shapes new goals, restarting the cycle, and if that identity is disadvantageous toward a good life, this gets bad very quick

The unfortunate reality is that you must break the cycle between steps 6 and 7, but this process starts when you are a child.

You have the goal of survival.

You are dependent on your parents to teach you how to survive. You had to conform. And since the way most people teach is through reward and punishment, unless you adopt their beliefs and values, you will be punished. You don’t actually think for yourself until you see through this.

But your parents have also gone through this process throughout their entire lives. That’s where it can get dangerous. Your parents, unless they broke the pattern themselves, were conditioned by the culturally accepted ideas of success from the Industrial age. They also carry the best and worst conditioning from their parents and their parents’ parents.

To take it a layer deeper, once you fulfill your physical survival needs (which is quite easy to do in today’s world, you’re practically born into safety), you start to survive on the conceptual or ideological level. You may not try to protect and reproduce your body, but you absolutely protect and reproduce your mind. It’s not difficult to see the war of ideas on the internet, and the participants are individual and group identities.

When your body feels threatened, you go into fight or flight.

When your identity feels threatened, the same thing happens.

If you are heavily identified with a political ideology (by the process we talked about just before), you will feel threatened when someone challenges your beliefs. You literally feel the stress. You feel, emotionally, like you were just slapped in the face. Since most people don’t analyze their emotions for truth, you tend to get stuck in echo chambers and double down on claims that harm yourself and others.

If you were raised in a religious household, and did not think for yourself, you will fight and attack others who threaten your psychological safety within that little bubble.

The same thing happens when you unconsciously see yourself as a lawyer, a gamer, or somebody else who would not take the actions to achieve a better life.

 

3、你未能抵达理想之地，只因你畏惧抵达

你必须牢记：想法的来源或形成过程根本无关紧要。你或许从未接触过专业催眠师，也从未接受过正式催眠。但当你接受某个观念——无论源于自我、师长、父母、朋友、广告或其他渠道——并坚信其真实时，这个观念对你的掌控力，便如同催眠师的指令对被催眠者的影响力。——麦斯威尔·马尔茨

这就是你成为今日之我的过程，也是你塑造明日之我的方式。身份认同的解剖图谱如下：

1. 你渴望达成某个目标
2. 你通过该目标的滤镜感知现实
3. 你只关注有助于实现目标的“重要”信息与观念（学习）
4. 你朝着目标行动并获得进展反馈
5. 你重复该行为直至其成为自动化的无意识反应 （条件反射）
6. 该行为成为自我认知的组成部分（“我就是那种会…的人”）
7. 你为维护心理一致性而捍卫身份认同
8. 身份塑造新目标，循环重启——若该身份不利于美好生活，恶果将迅速显现

 

不幸的现实是：你必须打破第6步与第7步之间的循环，而这个过程始于童年。

生存是你的首要目标。

你依赖父母传授生存之道，不得不顺从。而多数人惯用奖惩手段教育子女——若不接受他们的信念与价值观，便会遭受惩罚。直到看透这套机制，你才真正开始独立思考。

但你的父母同样经历了终生的条件反射过程，这正是危险所在。除非他们自己打破了这种模式，否则你的父母仍受工业时代文化认可的成功观念所塑造。他们还承载着祖辈乃至曾祖辈最优秀与最糟糕的条件反射。

再深入一层：当生理生存需求得到满足（在当今世界这相当容易实现，你几乎生来就拥有安全保障），你便开始在概念或意识形态层面求生。你或许不再保护和繁衍肉体，却必定守护并延续着思想。网络世界中的观念之战显而易见，参与者正是个体与群体的身份认同。

当肉体感受到威胁，你会进入战斗或逃跑状态。

当身份认同受到冲击，同样的反应也会发生。

若你对某种政治意识形态产生强烈认同（通过前文所述过程），当有人挑战你的信念时，你便会感到威胁。这种压力是切实可感的，情感上如同被当头一棒。由于多数人不会剖析情绪背后的真相，人们往往困守在回音壁中，对伤害自身与他人的主张愈加固执。

若你成长于宗教家庭却缺乏独立思考，当他人威胁到你那个小圈子里的心理安全时，你就会奋起反击。

当你潜意识里将自己视为律师、游戏玩家或其他不愿采取行动改善生活的人时，同样的情况也会发生。

 

IV – The life you want lies within a specific level of mind

The mind evolves through predictable stages over time.

When you’re born, you’re like a little survival sponge that absorbs whatever beliefs you can (which are heavily dictated by your culture) so that you can feel safe and secure. And if you don’t be careful, your mind may crystalize and it may make it difficult to live a meaningful life.

This has been documented enough in models like Maslow’s Hierarchy, Greuter’s stages of ego development, Spiral Dynamics, and Integral Theory, each building off of one another, but it’s also not difficult to observe in society.

I’ve talked about these many times, and synthesized them into my own
Human 3.0 model
with various AI prompts to uncover your level of development and a path forward (open in a tab to read after if you’d like), but here’s the 80/20 of the 9 stages of ego development as a refresher (because repetition helps reveal things you didn’t notice before, and there are new people reading these letters):

1. Impulsive — No separation between impulse and action. Black and white thinking. I.e. A toddler hits when angry because the feeling and the behavior are the same thing.
2. Self-Protective — The world is dangerous and you learn to look out for yourself. I.e. A kid learns to hide report cards, lie about chores, and figure out what adults want to hear.
3. Conformist — You are your group and its rules feel like reality itself. I.e. Someone who genuinely cannot fathom why anyone would vote differently than their family or group.
4. Self-Aware — You notice you have an inner life that doesn’t match the exterior. I.e. Sitting in church and realizing you’re not sure you believe what everyone around you seems to believe, but not knowing what to do with that feeling yet.
5. Conscientious — You build your own system of principles and hold yourself accountable to them. I.e. Leaving your family’s religion after careful study and adopting a personal philosophy you can defend, or building a career plan with clear milestones because you believe the right effort yields the right results.
6. Individualist — You see that your principles were shaped by context and start holding them more loosely. I.e. Realizing your political views have more to do with where you grew up than objective truth, or noticing that your ambitious career goals were really about earning your father’s approval.
7. Strategist — You work with systems while aware of your own involvement in them. I.e. Leading an organization while actively questioning your own blind spots, or engaging in politics knowing your perspective is partial and shaped by bias you can’t fully see.
8. Construct-Aware — You see all frameworks, including your identity, as useful fictions. I.e. Holding your spiritual beliefs with metaphorically not literally, knowing the map is not the territory, or watching yourself play the role of “founder” or “thought leader” with a kind of gentle amusement.
9. Unitive — Separation between self and life dissolves. I.e. Work, rest, and play feel like the same thing. There’s no one left who needs to become something, just presence responding to what arises.

For most people reading this, I would assume you hover between 4 and 8, which is a huge gap. Those closer to 8 are reading this are doing so to either learn something or pass time in a non-destructive way. Those closer to 4 are really looking for a change. You feel like you are meant for more, but you can’t make sense of everything yet, because there’s obviously a lot at play.

The good thing is, it doesn’t really matter what stage you are in, because moving through any of them follows a pattern.

 

4、你向往的生活存在于特定的思维层次之中

思维会随着时间推移经历可预测的发展阶段。

出生时，你如同吸收生存养分的海绵，汲取所有能接触到的信念（这些信念深受文化环境影响），以此获得安全感。若不加警惕，思维可能固化凝结，阻碍你活出有意义的人生。

马斯洛需求层次理论、格鲁特自我发展阶段、螺旋动力学、整体论等模型对此已有充分阐释，这些理论相互承接又各自延伸，其规律在社会中亦不难观察。

我曾多次探讨这些理论，并将其整合为人类3.0模型
（可通过AI提示词测评发展阶段并规划进阶路径，感兴趣者可另开标签页阅读），现将人格发展九阶段的80/20核心要点重温如下（重复能揭示未曾察觉的洞见，且新读者亦可借此入门）：

1. 冲动型——冲动与行动毫无界限。思维非黑即白。例如幼儿发怒时会动手打人，因情绪与行为本质相通。
2. 自我保护型——世界充满危险，你学会自我守护。例如孩童学会藏起成绩单、谎报家务完成情况，并摸清成人想听什么。
3. 从众型——你就是群体本身，其规则如同现实本身。例如有人真心无法理解为何有人会与家人或群体持不同投票立场。
4. 自我觉察型——你察觉到内在世界与外在表现存在落差。例如坐在教堂里意识到自己并不确定是否认同周围人信奉的信仰，却不知如何处理这种感受。
5. 有原则者——你建立自己的价值观体系并严格遵循。例如：经深入研究后脱离家族宗教，建立可辩护的个人哲学；或制定明确里程碑的职业规划，因坚信正确努力终将收获相应成果。
6. 独立思考者——你意识到自身原则受环境塑造，开始灵活运用。例如：意识到政治立场更多源于成长环境而非客观真理，或察觉雄心勃勃的职业目标实为赢得父亲认可。
7. 战略家——你既参与系统运作，又清醒认知自身在其中的定位。例如：领导组织时主动审视自身盲点，或深谙政治立场受偏见塑造的局限性。
8. 建构觉知者——将所有框架（包括自我认同）视为有益的虚构。例如：以隐喻而非字面方式持有精神信仰，明了地图并非疆域；或带着温和趣味观察自己扮演“创始人”或“思想领袖”的角色。
9. 合一状态——自我与生活的界限消融。例如：工作、休憩与玩乐浑然一体。不再有需要成为某种存在的人，唯有当下存在回应着一切生起。

对于多数读者而言，我推测你们处于4到8之间的状态，这中间存在巨大鸿沟。接近8级者阅读此文，或为汲取智慧，或为消磨时光而不伤其本。接近4级者则真正渴求转变。你深知自己注定成就更多，却尚未参透其中奥秘——显然，诸多力量正在暗中交织。

值得庆幸的是，你所处的阶段并不重要，因为穿越每个阶段都遵循着相同的轨迹。

 

V – Intelligence is the ability to get what you want out of life

The only real test of intelligence is if you get what you want out of life. – Naval Ravikant

There is a formula for success.

One ingredient is agency.

One ingredient is opportunity (which many people like to mistake as “privilege” – because they the other ingredients).

The last ingredient is intelligence.

If you have high agency but low opportunity, it doesn’t matter how likely you are to act toward a goal, because it isn’t a goal that will bear much fruit.

If you have opportunity and agency but low intelligence, then you will never be fully able to benefit from that opportunity.

First, we’ve talked about agency before here. In terms of opportunity, I can’t tell you to change your physical location, but if you don’t see the abundance of digital opportunity right in front of you, I don’t know what to tell you.

With that said, I want to focus on what intelligence is in the context of these two other ingredients and this letter. For that, we look to cybernetics.

Cybernetics comes from the greek word kybernetikos which means “to steer” or “good at steering.”

It’s also known as “the art of getting what you want.”

So, if Naval’s definition of intelligence is getting what you want out of life, understanding cybernetics helps you do that much faster.

Cybernetics illustrates the properties of intelligent systems.

• To have a goal.
• Act toward that goal.
• Sense where you are.
• Compare it to the goal.
• And act again based on that feedback.

You can judge intelligence based on the system’s ability to iterate and persist with trial and error.

A ship blown off course that corrects toward its destination. A thermostat sensing a change in heat and turning on. The pancreas excreting insulin after blood glucose spikes.

What does this have to do with getting what you want out of life?

Everything.

Acting, sensing, comparing, and understanding the system from a meta-perspective is fundamental to high intelligence (with the definition we are using here).

High intelligence is the ability to iterate, persist, and understand the big picture. The mark of low intelligence is the inability to learn from your mistakes.

Low-intelligence people get stuck on problems rather than solving them. They hit a roadblock and quit. Like a writer who fails to build a readership and quits because they lack the ability to try new things, experiment, and figure out a process that works for them (to think that there isn’t an effective process you can create is verifiably false, no matter your limiting beliefs, hence being low intelligence.)

High intelligence is realizing any problem can be solved on a large enough timescale. The reality is that you can achieve any goal you set your mind to.

Intelligence is realizing that there is a series of choices you can make which lead to achieving the goal you want. You understand that ideas are hierarchical and that you can’t go from papyrus to Google docs in one fell swoop. Even if that goal is impossible right now, you simply don’t have the resources – which may be invented over the next few years – to achieve that thing.

When I talk about “goals,” and as I will continue repeating, I am not speaking from the typical lens of self-help, although that’s a helpful lens to adopt at times.

I am speaking from the lens of teleology or the Greek kosmos – that everything serves a purpose. That everything is a part of a greater whole.

Goals determine how you see the world.

Goals determine what you consider “success” or “failure.”

You can try to “enjoy the journey,” but if you pursue the wrong goal, you will not enjoy it.

Your mind is the operating system for reality.

That system is composed of goals.

For most people, those goals are assigned to them. Programmed like lines of code in your psyche.

Go to school. Get the job. Get offended. Play victim. Retire at 65.

A known path that doesn’t work.

To become more intelligent, you must:

• Reject the known path
• Dive into the unknown
• Set new, higher goals to expand your mind
• Embrace the chaos and allow for growth
• Study the generalized principles of nature
• Become a deep generalist

I understand this may not be the traditional definition of intelligence, but that sequence of steps leads to an extraordinary level of connections in your brain, leading to what we would observe as an intelligent person. Pair that with agency and you’ve got a winner.

That leads us into the next section perfectly.

 

5、智慧是获取人生所求的能力

衡量智慧的唯一标准，是你能否获得人生所求。——纳瓦尔·拉维坎特

成功有其公式。

其一要素是自主性。

其二要素是机遇（常被误认为“特权”——因人们缺乏其他要素）。

最后要素是智慧。

若你拥有高行动力却缺乏机遇，无论你多么可能朝着目标行动，都无济于事——因为这个目标本身难以结出硕果。

若你兼具机遇与行动力却智力不足，便永远无法充分把握机遇。

首先，我们在此前已探讨过能动性。关于机遇，我无法要求你改变物理位置，但若你视而不见眼前丰富的数字机遇，我实在无言以对。

基于此，本文将聚焦智慧在另两项要素中的内涵。为此，我们需援引控制论。

控制论源自希腊语kybernetikos，意为“掌舵”或“擅长掌舵”。

它也被称为“获取所求之术”。

因此，若按纳瓦尔对智慧的定义——即实现人生目标，理解控制论将助你更快达成。

控制论揭示了智能系统的特性：

• 设定目标。
• 朝着目标行动。
• 感知当前位置。
• 与目标进行比对。
• 根据反馈再次行动。

通过系统在试错中迭代与坚持的能力，即可评判其智能水平。

偏离航向的船只修正航程；恒温器感知温度变化后启动；血糖飙升时胰腺分泌胰岛素。

这与实现人生目标有何关联？

息息相关。

行动、感知、比较，并从元视角理解系统——这正是高智商（按本文定义）的核心要素。

高智商意味着具备迭代能力、持久力与全局观。低智商的标志则是无法从错误中学习。

低智商者总在问题上纠结而非解决问题。遇到障碍就放弃。就像作家无法积累读者就放弃写作，只因缺乏尝试新事物、进行实验并摸索适合自己的方法的能力（认为无法创造有效方法的信念是可验证的谬误，无论你有多么局限的信念，这正是低智商的表现）。

高智商者明白：任何问题在足够长的时间尺度上都能解决。现实是只要下定决心，你就能达成任何目标。

智商体现于认识到存在一系列可选择的途径通向目标。你理解创意具有层次性，不可能一蹴而就地从莎草纸跃进谷歌文档。即便当下目标看似遥不可及，不过是因你尚未掌握实现它的资源——这些资源或许就在未来几年内诞生。

当我谈论“目标”时，且容我反复强调，我并非从常见的自我提升视角出发，尽管这种视角有时颇具启发性。

我所指的是目的论视角，亦即希腊宇宙观——万物皆有其存在意义，皆是宏大整体的组成部分。

目标决定你如何看待世界。
目标决定你如何定义“成功”或“失败”。
你可以尝试“享受旅程”，但若追逐错误的目标，你终将无法获得快乐。

你的思维是现实世界的操作系统。

这个系统由目标构成。

对多数人而言，这些目标是被赋予的。如同代码行般植入你的精神世界：

上学。找工作。受委屈。扮演受害者。65岁退休。

这条既定路径早已失效。

要变得更聪明，你必须：

• 拒绝既定路径
• 投身未知领域
• 设定更高远的目标以拓展思维
• 拥抱混沌，为成长留白
• 研习自然界的普适法则
• 成为深厚的通才

我明白这或许有悖传统智力定义，但这套步骤能激发大脑建立非凡的联结网络，造就我们眼中真正睿智之人。若再赋予自主行动力，便成就了真正的赢家。

这恰好为下一章节铺垫了完美过渡。

 

VI – How to launch into a completely new life (in 1 day)

The best periods of my life always came after a period of getting absolutely fed up with the lack of progress I was making.

How do you dig into your mind?

How do you become aware of your conditioning?

How do you reach profound insights and truths that change the trajectory of your life?

Through the simple, but often painful act of questioning.

Something that so few people do, and you can tell by how they speak or give their thoughts on a specific topic. Questioning is thinking, and very few people do it.

I want to give you a comprehensive protocol that you can use every year to reset your life and launch into a season of intense progress. This protocol helps you ask the right questions.

These questions will cover the macro to the micro: where you want to be, what you need to do to get there, and what you can do immediately to start moving the needle toward that reality.

This will require one full day to complete, so I recommend you follow along with the exact protocol. You will need a pen, paper, and an open mind.

When I observe patterns in people who successfully flip their identity, it happens fast after a build up of tension. Specifically, I’ve noticed 3 phases that people tend to go through.

1. Dissonance – They feel like they don’t belong in their current life, and become sufficiently fed up with their lack of progress.
2. Uncertainty – They don’t know what comes next, so they either experiment or get lost and feel worse.
3. Discovery – They discover what they want to pursue and make 6 years of progress in 6 months.

So, our goal with this protocol is to help you reach the point of dissonance, navigate through uncertainty, and discover what it truly is that you want to achieve, so much so that the clarity is overwhelming and distractions no longer hold their weight.

This protocol is structured so that it can be completed in one day. In the morning, you do a psychological excavation to uncover your own hidden motives. During the day, you prompt yourself with interrupts to keep you out of autopilot and contemplate your life. At night, you synthesize the insights into a direction you will start to move in tomorrow.

I cannot guarantee that this will work for everyone, because I cannot guarantee that everyone reading this is in the right chapter of their own story that would make these points impactful. You can’t place the climax at the start of the book and expect it to be interesting.

Part 1) Morning – Psychological Excavation – Vision & Anti-Vision

First we must create a new frame, or lens of perception, for your mind to operate from.

This is like creating a new shell, leaving your old one, and slowly growing into it over time. It won’t feel like it fits at first. That’s a good thing.

Set aside 15-30 minutes (the length of one YouTube video… you can do it) to think about and answer these questions. Do not attempt to outsource this contemplation to AI. I want you to break past the limiter that is on your mind. If you can’t answer these immediately, come back to them later.

1. What is the dull and persistent dissatisfaction you’ve learned to live with? Not the deep suffering but what you’ve learned to tolerate. (If you don’t hate it, you will tolerate it)
2. What do you complain about repeatedly but never actually change? Write down the three complaints you’ve voiced most often in the past year.
3. For each complaint: What would someone who watched your behavior (not your words) conclude that you actually want?
4. What truth about your current life would be unbearable to admit to someone you deeply respect?

Those questions are meant to make you aware of the pain in your current life. Now, we need to turn those into what I call an “anti-vision,” which is a brutal awareness of the life you do not want to live. That way, you can use that negative energy to aim your efforts in a positive direction and act from a place of intrinsic motivation.

1. If absolutely nothing changes for the next five years, describe an average Tuesday. Where do you wake up? What does your body feel like? What’s the first thing you think about? Who’s around you? What do you do between 9am and 6pm? How do you feel at 10pm?
2. Now do it but for ten years. What have you missed? What opportunities closed? Who gave up on you? What do people say about you when you’re not in the room?
3. You’re at the end of your life. You lived the safe version. You never broke the pattern. What was the cost? What did you never let yourself feel, try, or become?
4. Who in your life is already living the future you just described? Someone five, ten, twenty years ahead on the same trajectory? What do you feel when you think about becoming them?
5. What identity would you have to give up to actually change? (”I am the type of person who…”) What would it cost you socially to no longer be that person?
6. What is the most embarrassing reason you haven’t changed? The one that makes you sound weak, scared, or lazy rather than reasonable?
7. If your current behavior is a form of self-protection, what exactly are you protecting? And what is that protection costing you?

If you answered those truthfully, and if you are in the right chapter of your life, you will feel a deep sense of dis-ease and possibly disgust for how you are currently living. Now, we need to orient that energy in a positive direction. We need to create a minimum viable vision, because your vision is like a product. It starts out unclear, but with time and experience, it grows stronger and more potent.

1. Forget practicality for a minute. If you could snap your fingers and be living a different life in three years, not what’s realistic, what you actually want? What does an average Tuesday look like? Same level of detail as question 5.
2. What would you have to believe about yourself for that life to feel natural rather than forced? Write the identity statement: “I am the type of person who…”
3. What is one thing you would do this week if you were already that person?

Answer all of those first thing in the morning tomorrow.

Part 2) Throughout The Day – Interrupting Autopilot – Breaking Unconscious Patterns

These journaling exercises are cute, but we want real change.

Frankly, that’s not going to happen if you don’t break the current unconscious patterns that are keeping you the same.

Throughout the day, I want you to contemplate on everything you journaled in part one. Beyond that, I don’t want you to forget to contemplate. Please take this seriously. You aren’t going to change by doing the same thing for the rest of your life. You need to consciously force a pattern break.

Take the time right now to create reminders or calendar events in your phone. Include the question in the reminder or event so that you can immediately start thinking about it.

The more random and non-conflicting with your schedule there are, the better.

• 11:00am: What am I avoiding right now by doing what I’m doing?
• 1:30pm: If someone filmed the last two hours, what would they conclude I want from my life?
• 3:15pm: Am I moving toward the life I hate or the life I want?
• 5:00pm: What’s the most important thing I’m pretending isn’t important?
• 7:30pm: What did I do today out of identity protection rather than genuine desire? (Hint: it’s most things you do)
• 9:00pm: When did I feel most alive today? When did I feel most dead?

To add a bit more fuel to the fire, schedule these questions during times where you are either commuting, walking, or lying around.

• What would change if I stopped needing people to see me as [the identity you wrote in question 10]?
• Where in my life am I trading aliveness for safety?
• What’s the smallest version of the person I want to become that I could be tomorrow?

Part 3) Evening – Synthesizing Insight – Entering A Season Of Progress

If you followed that process, I would be surprised if you didn’t have at least one profound insight that could alter the course of your life. Now, we need to make those known, integrate them into who we are, and act on them to begin solidifying our journey to a new level of mind.

1. After today, what feels most true about why you’ve been stuck?
2. What is the actual enemy? Name it clearly. Not circumstances. Not other people. The internal pattern or belief that has been running the show.
3. Write a single sentence that captures what you refuse to let your life become. This is your anti-vision compressed. It should make you feel something when you read it.
4. Write a single sentence that captures what you’re building toward, knowing it will evolve. This is your vision MVP.

Lastly, we need to create goals.

Again, these aren’t goals that you set for the sake of achievement, because goals are just projections. They are unreliable and make you feel bound to something that will inevitably change. Instead, think of goals as a point of view. A lens that you can exchange to enter the right state of mind to perform the action that will lead away from the life you don’t want. Do not worry about some kind of finish line, because as we will find, it doesn’t exist. Enjoyment is found in progress.

1. One-year lens: What would have to be true in one year for you to know you’ve broken the old pattern? One concrete thing.
2. One-month lens: What would have to be true in one month for the one-year lens to remain possible?
3. Daily lens: What are 2-3 actions you can timeblock tomorrow that the person you’re becoming would simply do?

That was a lot.

Hopefully it was helpful.

But we have one last piece to lock it all in.

Stick with me.

 

6、如何开启全新人生（一天即可实现）

我生命中最美好的时光，总是在彻底厌倦原地踏步之后降临。

如何深入探索内心？
如何觉察自身思维定式？
如何获得改变人生轨迹的深刻洞见？

答案在于质疑——这个简单却常伴痛苦的过程。

世人鲜少践行此道，从他们谈论特定话题时的言辞便可窥见。质疑即是思考，而真正践行者寥寥无几。

我将为你提供一套年度重置方案，助你重启人生，开启飞跃式成长的季节。这套方案将引导你提出关键问题。

这些问题将覆盖宏观到微观的维度：你渴望抵达何处，需要采取哪些行动，以及当下能立即实施的突破性举措。

完成整个流程需耗时整整一天，因此我建议你严格遵循具体步骤。请准备好笔、纸和开放的心态。

观察成功实现身份蜕变者，我发现他们往往在积蓄矛盾后迅速突破。具体而言，人们通常经历三个阶段：

• 矛盾期——他们感到与当下生活格格不入，对停滞不前的现状深感厌倦。
• 迷茫期——面对未知方向，他们要么盲目尝试，要么迷失自我陷入更深困境。
• 发现期——他们找到真正追求的目标，并在半年内实现六年进度。

因此，本方案的目标是助你抵达认知失调的临界点，穿越不确定性的迷雾，最终发现内心真正的渴望。当清晰的愿景如潮水般涌来，所有干扰都将失去分量。

本方案设计为一日完成：清晨进行心理挖掘，发掘潜藏动机；白昼通过中断提示打破惯性思维，审视人生轨迹；入夜将洞见整合为明日行动方向。

我无法保证此法对所有人有效，因为无法确保每位读者都处于人生故事中能让这些要点产生共鸣的章节。你不能把高潮放在书的开头就指望它引人入胜。

第一部分）清晨——心理挖掘——愿景与反愿景

首先，我们必须为你的思维构建新的框架或感知视角。

这如同打造新外壳，蜕去旧躯壳，随时间推移逐渐成长适应。初时会感到不合身——这正是好事。

请预留15-30分钟（相当于一部YouTube视频时长…你做得到），思考并回答以下问题。切勿将此思考过程外包给AI。我要你突破思维设定的限制。若无法立即作答，请稍后再续。

• 你习以为常却始终隐隐作痛的不满是什么？不是深重苦痛，而是你已学会容忍之事。（若不憎恶，便会容忍）
• 你反复抱怨却从未改变的是什么？写下过去一年最常提及的三项抱怨。
• 针对每项抱怨：若有人观察你的行为（而非言语），会推断出你真正渴望什么？
• 关于你当前生活，有哪些真相是你绝不敢向深切敬重之人坦白的？

这些问题旨在让你觉察当下生活的痛楚。现在，我们需要将其转化为我称之为“反愿景”的东西——即对你绝不愿活出的人生进行残酷的认知。如此，你便能将这股负面能量转化为积极行动的动力，从内在驱动力出发付诸实践。

• 假设未来五年毫无改变，描述一个普通周二的场景：你醒来时身处何处？身体有何感受？脑海浮现的首个念头是什么？身边有哪些人？上午9点至下午6点你在做什么？晚上10点时你感觉如何？
• 现在将时间推至十年后。你错过了什么？哪些机遇已然关闭？谁对你失望放弃？当你不在场时，人们如何议论你？
• 你已走到生命尽头。你选择了安稳的人生轨迹，从未打破常规。代价是什么？你始终不愿感受、尝试或成为什么？
• 你身边谁正在活出你刚刚描绘的未来？在相同轨迹上前行五、十、二十年的人？想到自己变成那样，你有什么感受？
• 要真正改变，你必须放弃怎样的身份？（“我就是那种……的人”）不再是那个自己，你将付出怎样的社会代价？
• 你至今未改变的最令人难堪的理由是什么？那个让你听起来软弱、胆怯或懒惰而非理智的理由？
• 若你当前的行为是自我保护的手段，你究竟在守护什么？这种保护又让你付出了怎样的代价？

若你坦诚作答，且正处于人生的正确阶段，便会对当下生活产生深刻的不适感，甚至厌恶。此刻，我们需要将这份能量导向积极的方向。我们需要构建一个最小可行愿景，因为愿景如同产品——初始模糊不清，但随着时间与经验的沉淀，它会日益清晰而强大。

• 暂且抛开现实考量。假设你只需一挥手，三年后就能过上截然不同的人生——不是现实中可能实现的，而是你真正渴望的。那么一个普通周二会是怎样的？请以问题5的细节程度作答。
• 要让这种生活自然而非勉强，你需要相信自己具备什么特质？写下身份宣言：“我正是那种…”
• 若你已是这样的人，本周会做哪件事？

明天清晨第一件事就是回答所有问题。

第二部分）全天实践——中断自动驾驶模式——打破无意识惯性

这些日记练习虽有趣，但我们追求的是真实改变。

坦白说，若不打破维持现状的无意识惯性，改变永无可能。

全天请反复思考第一部分的日记内容。更重要的是，切勿忘记持续反思。请认真对待此事——若终生墨守成规，你永远无法改变。必须主动打破固有模式。

立即在手机设置提醒或日历事件。将问题写入提醒内容，以便即时启动思考。

提醒越随机、与日程冲突越少越好。

• 上午11:00：此刻我通过当前行为在逃避什么？
• 下午1:30：若有人拍摄我过去两小时的行动，会推断我的人生追求是什么？
• 下午3:15：我正走向厌恶的人生还是向往的人生？
• 下午5:00：我正在假装不重要的事情中，哪件最重要？
• 晚上7:30：今天哪些行为是出于身份保护而非真实渴望？（提示：基本都是）
• 晚上9:00：今天何时感觉最鲜活？何时感觉最麻木？

为火上浇油，请在通勤、散步或闲躺时安排这些问题：

• 若不再需要他人视我为[问题10中填写的身份]，什么会改变？
• 我的人生中，哪些地方用安全感换取了生命力？
• 明天我能成为的、最微小的理想自我是什么？

第三部分）黄昏时分——洞见整合——迈入成长季

若你遵循上述流程，我敢说至少会获得一个足以改变人生轨迹的深刻洞见。此刻我们需要让这些洞见显现，将其融入自我认知，并付诸行动，从而开启通往全新心智境界的旅程。

• 今日之后，你最确信自己停滞的原因是什么？
• 真正的敌人是什么？请明确命名。不是环境，不是他人，而是那个掌控全局的内在模式或信念。
• 用一句话概括你绝不允许自己沦为的模样。这是你反愿景的浓缩版，阅读时应能触动你的心弦。
• 写下一句话，概括你正在构建的方向——明知它会不断演变。这就是你的愿景最小可行产品。

最后，我们需要设定目标。

重申：这些目标并非为成就而设，因为目标只是投射。它们不可靠，会让你束缚于注定改变的事物。请将目标视为一种视角。如同可替换的镜头，助你切换至正确心境，采取行动摆脱不想要的生活。不必执着于终点线——正如我们将发现的，它本就不存在。乐趣在于前进的过程。

• 一年期视角：一年后需满足什么条件，才能确信你已打破旧有模式？请列出一个具体事项。
• 月度视角：一个月内必须实现什么，才能让年度目标保持可能性？
• 每日视角：明天你能为即将成为的自己预留2-3个时间段完成哪些行动？

内容不少。

希望有所启发。

但还有最后一块拼图要锁定全局。

请继续关注。

 

VII – Turn Your Life Into A Video Game

The optimal state of inner experience is one in which there is order in consciousness. This happens when psychic energy—or attention—is invested in realistic goals, and when skills match the opportunities for action. The pursuit of a goal brings order in awareness because a person must concentrate attention on the task at hand and momentarily forget everything else. – Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

You now have all of the components that lead to a good life.

Now, it may be helpful to organize all of your insights into one coherent plan. Pull out a new page and write down these 6 components:

• Anti-vision – What is the bane of my existence, or the life I never want to experience again?
• Vision – What is the ideal life that I think I want and can improve as I work toward it?
• 1 year goal – What will my life look like in 1 year time, and is that closer to the life I want?
• 1 month project – What do I need to learn? What skills do I need to acquire? What can I build that will move me closer to the one year goal?
• Daily levers – What are the priority, needle-moving tasks that bring my project closer to completion?
• Constraints – What am I not willing to sacrifice to achieve my vision from the ground up?

Why is this so powerful?

Because these components literally create your own little world. If you are meant to pursue this hierarchy of goals at this stage of your life, you will have no other option but to become obsessed. You will feel the pull to something greater. You will not see anything else as an option.

You turn your life into a video game.

Because games are the poster child for obsession, enjoyment, and flow states. They have all the components that lead to focus and clarity, so if we reverse engineer what those components are, we can live in a state of deeper enjoyment, less distractions, and more success.

Your vision is how you win. At least until the game evolves.

Your anti-vision is what’s at stake. What happens if you lose or give up.

Your 1 year goal is the mission. This is your sole priority in life.

Your 1 month project is the boss fight. How you gain XP and acquire loot.

Your daily levers are the quests. The daily process that unlocks new opportunities.

Your constraints are the rules. The limitations that encourage creativity.

All of these act as a concentric set of circles, like a forcefield, that guard your mind from distractions and shiny objects.

The more you play the game, the stronger this force becomes, and soon enough it becomes who you are, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

– Dan

 

7、将人生化作电子游戏

内在体验的最佳状态，是意识中存在秩序的状态。当心理能量——即注意力——投入现实目标，且技能与行动机遇相匹配时，这种状态便会实现。追求目标能带来意识秩序，因为人必须将注意力集中于当下任务，暂时忘却其他一切。——米哈里·契克森米哈赖

此刻你已拥有构筑美好生活的全部要素。

现在，将所有洞见整合为连贯计划或许大有裨益。翻开新页，写下这六个要素：

• 反愿景——何为我存在的祸根？何种生活是我永不愿重蹈的覆辙？
• 愿景——何为我心之所向的理想生活？在追求过程中我能如何完善它？
• 一年目标——一年后的生活图景是什么？它是否更接近理想状态？
• 月度项目——需要掌握哪些知识？需要培养哪些技能？能构建什么来推动一年目标？
• 日常杠杆——哪些关键任务能有效推进项目进展？
• 底线——为实现愿景，哪些是绝不愿妥协的底线？

为何如此强大？

因为这些要素将构建出属于你的微型世界。若你的人生阶段注定要追逐这套目标体系，你将别无选择地沉迷其中。你会感受到更宏大目标的召唤，眼中再无其他选项。

你将人生化作电子游戏。

因为游戏正是痴迷、愉悦与心流状态的典范。它们蕴含所有催生专注与清晰的要素，若我们反向解析这些要素，便能活在更深层的愉悦中，减少干扰，收获更多成功。

你的愿景就是制胜之道。至少在游戏进化前如此。

你的反愿景就是赌注。若失败或放弃会怎样？

你的年度目标就是使命。这是你生命中唯一的优先事项。

你的月度项目就是BOSS战。如何获取经验值与战利品。

你的日常杠杆就是任务。开启新机遇的每日流程。

你的约束即是规则。那些激发创造力的限制。

所有这些如同同心圆构成的力场，守护你的思维远离纷扰与浮华。

你越投入这场游戏，这股力量就越强大，终将融入你的本质，而你别无他求。

——丹

 

原文：
https://x.com/thedankoe/status/2010751592346030461